I grew up in Southeast Missouri. It was a simple time of three TV channels, flirting with girls, and avoiding the cops while trying to get someone to buy you a bottle of Boones Farm.

Tired of flipping burgers for cash, I headed to the Big City (St. Louis) and joined the US Coast Guard. Lovingly known as: Uncle Sam's Confused Group, Puddle Pirates, Coasties, and those jerks that mess up your day on the water.

After loafing there for a little over 30 years as a CWO ship's engineer, my dear old Uncle Sam told me to pack my sea bag